I guess I'm not the superhero Today
by SpikedDreams
Summary: Kurt Hummel became mute after a failed suicide attempt. With vocal lessons, reconnecting with his dad, a new group of friends called The Warblers,and his roomate Blaine,will he be able to heal? Third and fourth genre Angst and Romance
1. prolouge the attempt

**hey is going to be a multichapter ofcourse based off a gif on title is from the lovely Dani Shay's song Superhero, and will be the sorta mantra for this trigger warning for this chapter and some others,and some homophobic language. If anyone needs any help just come pm me, i'll always answer! enjoy! love,Alexx**

Kurt was _done_! He wasnt't going to be weak anymore,he was done being the little fag everyone pushed around. He was sick of his supposed '_"Stepbrother_" choosing his popularity over helping him, sick of his "_friends_" ignoring his problems for their own petty boy trouble that were nothing but high school drama, sick of his _dad_,who was supposed to be there for him,leaving him out because he know had the perfect normal family with Finn and was done having to cutt himself just to feel _anything! done,done,DONE_.  
'Go kill yourself' they'd say,'Noone would ever loved him' they'd knew they were right,why would anyone love a freak like him?He was taking their advice, he was about to end his life.

Kurt tightened the rope from where it was around his neck,feeling it push against adams apple enough to feel it lightly cut off his took a breath and swallowed the sleeping pills that were in his a few seconds he could feel them kicking in and his vision got hazy he looked around his room one more time,blowing a kiss to the image of his mother hanging on his wall, before he kicked the stool out from under his legs and felt the rope tighten dangerously as he dangled from the ceiling as he felt his life slip away he heard a voice shout his name,and he barely registered the last words out of his mouth before the blackness hit.

"I love you Daddy."

_R&R *lessthanthree*_


	2. all that's dead and gone and passed

**hey guys,sorry this took a little while,but I really want this story to be perfect! I have so many great ideas for ,Thursday I'll be on vacation for a week,but ill be working on chapter 2 while i'm there! trigger warning in this,but nothing graphic ,not mine**

When Kurt came to,he saw nothing but a blinding white light and a light beeping sound._'Is this heaven'_ thought,but when his vision finally cleared,he realized he wasn't in some North Pole fairytale for adults, but in a hospital. Led settled in the bottom of his stomach as he realized he was still alive and in the hospital."_Great Kurt so fucking pathetic you can't even fucking kill yourself_." He thought to himself. He started to sit up when Burt realized he finally woke.

"Oh Kurt! Nurse Nancy." A voice to his left shouted."Dad." He started to say, but nothing came out,An unentelligble squeak coming out insted. Kurt panicked wrapping his hands around his throat,where he could still feel the impression of the rope around his neck. He started to panick,everytime he tried to say something,either nothing would come out,or a quite heart started pounding in his chest,faster than when he'd have a panic attack or running from Karofsky and the other leaned back,gasping for breath as his heart pounding faster,silent tears slid down his face as three or four doctors and nurses ran around him checking his vitals and refilling his I. dad gripped his hand tightly and kept telling him he'd be okay like he was a nine year old who just lost his mom again,one by one the doctors left the room until finally it was just him,his dad,and a doctor, , is what his nametag read, sat down on the end of Kurt's bed,who was still trying to get some word out of his mouth,and gripped the young boys ankle in a kind,caring way."Kurt?" He said softly,attempting to get the teens ,with his hands still resting lightly on his neck,looked up and choked out a silent sob when his eyes met the Dr.'s.

His dad and the doctors were both filled with worry,sympathy,and looked at the two elder men sitting in front of him,and waved his hands in a desperate .Montgomery nodded to Burt who nodded and squeezed his sons hand and watched the two of them,still crying until looked at Kurt and said "I wish i could say i have good news,but I don't,Kurt,when you attempted to hang yourself,the position of the knot pressed against your vocal cords and damaged them severly and...well there's no good way to say this but,right now you can no longer speak,sing,anything,they are severly damaged." Kurt burst out in tears even harder."Now,now," said."there is the possibility of you maybe getting your voice back,with voice therapy and a vocal coach,as well as help at will take a while,seven months to two and a half really all depends on how you progress in it and how much work you put into it."

Kurt breathed out a sigh of relief at that,maybe he could still star on he didn't dream of broadway,he didn't dream at all anymore,he hated living,and he was far to pathetic and sad to do was,of course,why he was here,why he couldn't talk,and why he had cutt marks parallel and vertical on his arms.

_It's why he tried to hang himself._

0"But there are some other things we must discuss ,the reason you're here." Kurt's head flopped back onto the pillow,attempting to groan-but it only came out as a squeezed his hand as the doctor handed Kurt a notepad and pen and said "I'm going to ask you some questions,and I want you to write down the answers to them, you understand?" Kurt nodded and accepted the paper being held out to him. "Now, first question, can you explain why you attempted to kill yourself in first place?" Kurt hesitated,eyes shifting from side to side,biting the tip of his reached over and took his son's face in his hands."Kurt,look at me," He said "I need to know what happened,why you feel so helpless, you'd rather kill yourself before you came to talk to me?" Kurt shifted,guiltlyly before taking a deep breath and shakily writting his life story of the past two months,and how it all started last year.

He told wrote about his bullys,the shlushies,the dumpster dives,and the locker wrote about how the New Directions and Teachers knew and saw but never did anything about it,and how the New Directions had abonded him over there own petty boy troubles and other drama _('It's not that I expect_ _them to drop every second for me,_'he wrote,_'but it'd be nice to have someone ask if I was okay every once in a while'),_and how he felt since his dad married Carole,he told about Karofsky,and (though with much much hesitation,but had to after seeing the pleading look on his fathers face) he wrote about the forced kiss in the locker he had finished writing (three pages front and back worth of imformation) he handed over to ,who had moved to sit next his dad so they could read it,and he wiped his nose on the back of his hand,the tears falling harder and harder as he watched the emotions pass through the other mens' face.

By the time they had finished the note, had horrified and sad look on his face, and Burt looked angry again,as if he couldn't choose an .Montgomery cleared his throat,then looked at Burt and said " ,would you mind coming out with me for a minute?" Burt nodded,and got up, kissing Kurt's forehead with the promise of being right back before following the doctor out of the room.

Kurt sat back again,thinking of what could possibly be being disscused outside,before the tears started falling again.

**ohmygod what are Burt and going to discuss? ;) first person to guess gets a shout out next chapter! anyways i hope you enjoyed this chapter,make sure you favorite,follow,review! love all of you,**

**Alexx stay strong**


	3. cause he used to be a pearl

_I AM BACK BABY! oh here are two chapters for my lovely lovelies that you are,I'm so sorry that I dissapeared for so long,but I'm back know,life just got in the voila! Enjoy_

They finally released Kurt two days after he woke up. His dad never mentioned what the talk with and Kurt didn't push it,he knew his dad would bring it up when he was fact that he couldn't talk was starting to settle like lead in his .Montgomery had given him a special pill that would help with the itchiness in his throat which was caused from lack of use,the throat not being used to no use after sixteen sighed as he got out of his dad's pick up truck and grabbed his bag,walking up to the front door of the Hummel-Hudson was standing at the front door waiting to greet them,and ran to Kurt the second he hit the porch."Oh Honey! how are you? are you feeling okay? Do you want anything? A drink? Something to eat? Come here!" She grabbed him by his shoulders and hugged him tightly and whispered 'I Love You' in his ears and kissed his cheek,grabbing his bag from him and walking him inside

Kurt just hugged his stepmom briefly before grabbing his bag and walking down to his basement room and throwing the bag on the ground and running to his bed.  
Kurt laid on his stomach and turned his head looked at the picture of him and his mom from a zoo trip when he was tears fan harder down his face like waterfalls as the sobs shook his body opened the bedside drawer and took out a single razor blade,holding it above looked at the glint of the silver object and his reflection in eyes were a puffy red,his lips red and swollen from biting them,tear tracks ran down his face and his nose rimmed red.  
His wrists were itching with the burning desire to were bandages wrapped around the ones from his suicide attempt,but there was plenty of space on his bicep,so he pushed the blade against his upper arm and dragged it across,watching the blood poke up in dots before flowing heard a gasp and turned wide eyed to the door,grasping the razor tight in his broke through the skin and blood flowed fast from the gash in his hand,soaking his grey sweatpants and white ran up to him and grabbed an extra shirt from his bed and wrapped it tightly around his hand and put pressure on had tears in her eyes but Kurt sat there almost lifeless watching as his stepmom tried to stop the bleeding in both cutts.  
When she finished wrapping him up she looked at Kurt and brushed a peice of hair back from his face and kissed his cheek."Oh honey,"Carole whispered "I love you so much,we all do Kurt.I'm so sorry we weren't there for you,but We'll get through 'll get better." If this was coming from anyone else Kurt would've gotten annoyed,but Carole was always so nice to him and always tried to help warmed himself in the cocoon of her pulled back a little and looked at her watch."Kurt sweetie,it's time for your pills,do want anything to drink? Are you hungry?" Kurt just shrugged then decided against it and nodded his nodded and kissed his head before heading downstairs.

As Carole went up,Burt came down and sat on the bed next to his saw the bandages on his son and knew what had grabbed his son in his arms and heald him close,and pressed a kiss to his sons head."We have something we want to talk to you about,something the doctor discussed with me in the and I have been talking about it alot,but we want you're ?" Kurt nodded,lifeless eyes showing a tiny bit of continued to hold Kurt in his arms until Carole came back had brought his pills,a glass of coke, and a bowl of baked potato soup-Kurt's favorite.

She sat down on the other side of Kurt and Burt let go of his son so he could scoot back on the bed against the put the tray on his lap,and he tipped his head back,taking all thre pills at once and downing them with his and Burt moved to a more comftorable position against the bed,and looked at grabbed onto Kurt's ankle and said "I want you to eat that while we're 't worry about having to write us anything while we're talking,you can tell us your opinion when we finish.

"We've been talking alot since Thursday when you woke .Montgomery told me about a school in Westerville, Dalton Academy School for son,Wes,goes told me he's one of the council men for the glee club thing that my attention about it, is that the school has a zero-tolerance bullying policy,and you don't get a warning or ignored,action's immediantly tuition is high,but you're Granny and Aunt Milderd called me the other day and we brought it up,they agreed to help me with the problem is that there a boarding 're allowed to come home weekends,special occasions,and ofcourse don't have to pay for meals but you do have to pay for things like snacks,track clothes,stuff like told me you could purchase it in the school 'll video call you everyday and you can text us,and come home on do you say buddy?"

Kurt looked between Carole and his Dad,he saw the hurt and concern in their eyes,and knew how lifeless his own eyes wanted to help wanted him to get better.

The least he could do is try right?

He handed his dad the tray and scooted off the grabbed the notebook and oen he had left on the table and flipped to an open page. Kurt sat ramrod still for a few moments wondering if he could really do it, really he trust the kids there? Just because the had a zero-tolerance bullying policy, but the second he stepped off campus,they could do as they looked at his dad and wrote _Have You Talked To Quinny Yet?. _Burt nodded."She couldn't be here tonight because she had detention againt, but she said she'd be back around five." Kurt looked at the clock on his was 4:45. _Can I wait until she get's back? I wanna talk to her about it? _Burt just nodded and kissed his son's forhead."I have to go make a call to Jake,promised I'd let him know when you got out.I let Quinn know you wanna talk to her when she gets here."

Carole stayed next to her he finished eating,she took the tray from him,and set it on the gave him a smile,and he tried to smile back but it came out a grabbed his hand and gave it a reasurring squeeze before grabbing his tray and heading for the paused before turning from her spot at the door,and saying "I know things are hard for you right know Kurt,but we do love might be rude but he loves you too,and I'm trying to get him to open up to you,but we all want you to get better really do.I love you Kurt." and with that she turned and left,not wanting Kurt to see the tears pooling in her eyes and the look on her stepson/best that's what she considered best friend.

0`0`0`0`0`0`0`0`0`0`0`0`0`0`

Quinn came home not to long after.

She was wearing a long black maxi dress that stopped at her ankles with a brown belt under the dress was a hot pink Big Bang Theory shirt and a beanie on her combat boots clacked loudly on the tile floor of the hallway as she headed to her brothers could hear Finn playing his video game loudly and shouting at whoever was talking through his rolled her eyes,she loved Carole,she really did,but her son was a total **BITCH**_.Dating one too,_She climed the stairs to her bedroom and threw her satchel onto her day bed and left to go to the basement.

She felt guilty,she knew Kurt was cutting himself and being bullied at tried to help when she those jackasses to back of her brother or she'd kick their tried to talk to her brother,asking him why he was so sad,but he never told her became very closed in on had finally broke down and told their Dad and he was on his way to talk to Kurt when he found him was so thanful that she'd finally told her dad,because she might not've got to ever seen her brother alive again.

She knocked on the door of the told her Kurt couldn't talk any more,She had broke down crying and didn't go to school until Dad told her when Kurt was allowed to come a couple of seconds the door opened,and she took him had dark bags under his lifeless eyes-which are far to beautiful to look so dead and sad,so alike their mother's who would've hated to not see them shine-his hair mused from laying down,numerous bandages from cutting,and the fading impression of a rope around his neck.

Quinn nearly puked.

Kurt opened his arms slowly to his sister,and she through herself into them,trying to hold back the sobs threatining to talked (well Quinn talked and Kurt wrote) for hours about the pros and cons of going or not going to they made a decision,Quinn handed a peice of wrigleys to Kurt,knowing it was his favorite gum **(A/N yes that was a dedication to the box scene!), **and called their Dad and Carole walked down,both hoping Kurt was going to go,because they were so worried about him,and he deserved to be happy,which they hoped he would be at Dalton.

They sat down on the foot of the bed and looked anxiously at the was resting up against the headboard and Kurt was snuggling to her chest."We've been talking nonstop about it,plus we looked it up and did some research of our own," Quinn said "He wants to tell you his decision though."Kurt pulled up from his spot where Quinn was and opened his notebook.

I'll go to Dalton,

he wrote_,but I want Quinn to come with me.I know it's an all boy school but they have a sister school across the street,Crawford County Day,and they allow you to have breakfast,lunch,dinner and free periods with them,and you can hang out after school as long as you're both back before Quinn dosen't wanna go that's fine,but I think it'll just be a lot easier on me._

Quinn was hadn't mentioned this to her,but in a way,she sorta wanted to had read a little description of the school on the Dalton-Crawford looked at Kurt and the pleading look in his eyes,then at their Dad and Stepmom."Can..can you guys even afford it?" She scribbled quickly on his notepad before quickly thrusting it into his dad's hands._It said they can do some sort of "package" where if your putting some sort of family in then you get a discount or something. _Quinn,Burt,and Carole all read it quickly and Burt turned to Quinn."Do you want to go Quinn?" She nodded her head slowly,she could finally get her and her brother _OUT _of that hell hole of a school they went was like a dream come true to her,but Kurt didn't have the same thoughts.

He was _SUPER_ nervous, but what choice did he have? Go back to a school where he was ignored by his own glee club(who were supposed to stick together), thrown into dumpsters,locker slams,slushied and force kissed in the locker room? Kurt shuddered as the memory came back and he paid attention to his ,he would go to Dalton and try to get better,he would learn to talk again,maybe learn to trust outside of family,and with Quinn's help,find his dream didn't just want to do this for his Dad,sister,and Carole,he wanted to do this for _him _too! Kurt hadn't smiled in a long time,and he had a feeling he wouldn't be smiling in a while,but he was as happy as he could could start could would take a while,but he would work for his mom had always told him._He was worth it._

_Anyways hope it was good after that wait! I'm working on the next chapter of Eyelash Wishes so it'll be up soon! Love you all,R&R_

_Alexx_


	4. I'm never Changing Who I Am

_(Note,I posted a chapter before this,so if youre going straight to this one,go back one chapter) We're skipping straight into Kurt's first day at Dalton! We'll hear more about his transition from the Hummel-Hudson household to Dalton,but there's a reason I'm not going straight in,you'll see !_

Kurt walked straight into Proffessor Brien's didn't look around,didn't try to talk to anyone,just fleed straight into the class took a seat at the very back of the class,noticing noone was in the class about five minutes a yound man with black and grey hair,a scruffy grey beard that obviously hadn't been shaved in a few had deep blueish lavender eyes and a kind walked straight back to Kurt,who sat up straight but was very obviously nervous.  
"Hello Kurt," He said,smile still calming and kind,being catious with the boy yet at the same time treating him like he would any other human "I'm not going to introduce you to the whole class,seeing with your situation,so I figuered you'd be here early or keep you after class to talk this over with you." Kurt nodded and Proffessor Brien pulled out a mennilla package out of his briefcase and sliding it to Kurt."This is all the information for my class you'll need,no more than about ten pages for my class will be giving oral reports for the book they've been reading,so I figuered you could just sit back here and work on that okay?" Kurt nodded and looked down at the Brien got up and turned,before turning back one more time and catching Kurt's eyes."And Kurt? I know you're going through a rough patch right know,but you're safe here at if you ever need anything don't be afraid to come to me alright?" Kurt looked at his teacher,and saw all the care in his teacher's eyes,he mouthed a meaningful thank you,and watched his teacher turn away.  
After a few minutes,students started filling in the all took their seats near the front of the class,chatting loudly and laughing while Proffessor Brien was setting up a projector in the front of the looked back down and pulled out his first page getting to work on that.  
_0`0`0`0`0`0`0`0`0`0`0`0_  
The bell finally class had gone by quickly,and Kurt nearly fell straight out of his seat when the bell rang through the school,louder than the ones at sighed putting the sheets he finished behind the ones he hadn't and placed them back in the up as the class filed out,he grabbed his satchel and books."Kurt!" Proffessor Brien called him as he walked with his head down to the jumped,startled,and he walked towards the teachers desk.  
When he got there he finally looked up to see his proffessor,and another boy standing next to secretely thought he was gorgeous,he had hazel eyes-which were warm and full with kidness-with gelled back black hair,and he was considerably Brien took him softly by the shoulder,and said "Kurt,I'd like you to meet Blaine,he's one of my top students".Kurt nodded a silent 'hello' to him,and Blaine beamed with a beautiful smile back at him,"I've asked Blaine to walk you around to your classes today,since he has most of the same classes with that alright?" Kurt nodded slowly,catious as to who this boy was,he could be a jock just like the one's at sucked it up though and took the arm the boy offered to him carefully.  
Blaine walked him through all the shortcuts on the way to 's class,weaving him in and out of the crowds."So," he started, "plan on joining any clubs at Dalton,Kurt?" Kurt sortof panicked,waving his free arm to his throat-the rope impression covered by the turtleneck he was allowed to wear-and squeaked out his looked shocked for a minute,then guilty."Oh! oh I'm sorry,god I really am an idiot ain't I?" he chuckled nodded with an amused look on his face,obviously teasing the other boy.  
,his french teacher,was had long blonde hair pulled up into a tigh beehive bun on her head,hazel eyes-but not sparkling ones like Blaine's-and a bright smiled warmly at the two coming into her class,there were some more boys already there unlike Proffessor Brien's class,and opened her arms in a 'welcome' gesture."_Bienvenue dans ma classe_,welcome to my class,you must be Kurt,Blaine you may take a seat." she said,her accent nodded,patted Kurt's shoulder and took his seat in the back of the class."Here are your papers for you to catch up on," she handed him a small folder with a few more pages then Proffessor Brien's "There mainly the basics I need so I can get your level book,but looking at you're level at Mckinley,I have a feeling you won't have a lot of trouble! You can take a seat wherever you want to,and just work on that during class,okay?" Kurt nodded and accepted the folder from his teacher and walked straight to the back of the classroom,aiming to take a seat at the back,but Blaine tapped his arm on the way back."Sit next to me,I can help you with some of the work,and I could use some company." He told him,puppy dog eyes in full mode.**_How can I say no to that?_** Kurt thought and sat down in the empty chair,which was near the let out a sigh,and scratched his arm lightly,where the cuts were still healing.  
He was about halfway down the first paper when a notebook was pushed into his line of looked confused when he turned to Blaine,who was discreetly pushing the notebook to frowned and pulled it the rest of the way over.'_So Kurt,mind me askin what brought you here?' _Blaine had complintated telling him,but then changed his didn't need to give him any reasons to mock and humiliate him,he couldn't just trust this boy_.'Personal stuff,my sister goes to Crawford.' _He tried changing the subject,hoping to distract the boy from what the 'personal reasons' are_.'Really? Mine too! If you don't mind me asking,what's your sister's name? I can see if my sisters in any of her classes.' _Kurt figuered that was fine,and he might just be trying to figuring out if Quinn was some hot cheerleader he could get in bed with quickly,Kurt wanted to snort at that was a cheerleader in their first year,but after the news of her sexuality got out,she quit and joined the understood,and he eventually convinced her to join Glee with were the known as the 'Gay Hummel Twins' after Puckerman had even offered to have sex with Quinn so she could 'Be Sure',and had Brittany do the same to Kurt.  
Quinn quit Glee club after that,which had been near the end of sophmore bullying never stopped for Kurt,but as The Skanks started getting at the jocks for bullying Quinn,it lessend for her and she tried hard to get them to lessen on never did sighed again-he seemed to do that alot lately-and wrote _'Quinn Hummel,but they might call her Lucy until she tells them to call her Quinn.' _Blaine sent the paper back as walked around collecting the classes homework from the night before_.'My sister's name is Sierra Autum Anderson,but she goes by Raine.I'm sure your sister will know who she is.'_ Kurt rolled his eyes **_cheerleader_**,he thought_.'She's really popular?' _He wrote back._ 'No,not really,she perfers to stay to herself,but she has quite a distinctive look to her.' _Kurt was curious as to what he meant._ 'My sister has pink hair.' _he wrote back."Seriously?" Blaine whispered to him,to which he responded with a dead serious let out a low chuckle,that obviously wasn't meant offensively,but more in shock. _'Well I have a feeling Raine will have a new best friend when we talk later.' _Kurt couldn't help but agree,Quinn immediantly got along with anyone who stuck out from the bell rang before Kurt could respond,so he gathered his stuff and walked out with Blaine.  
_0`0`0`0`0`0`0`0`0`0`0`0`0`00`0`0`  
_After his last class of the day,one of the few he had without Blaine,he headed out of the class towards the main hall,where Blaine told him to meet up with him he walked closer to the main hall,he saw a huge group of boys crowded around the lounge room,and music coming out of it.  
Eventually he got towards the front of the large had pushed his way around the best he could without getting to close to any of the other jaw unhinged and dropped to the floor as he saw Blaine,clad in maroon jeans and a grey graphic tee (and he noticed,some boys were dressed in normal clothing,while others were still in their uniforms) singing lead,while the other boys all dressed apparently how they would when they weren't in school,making instrumental noises around were all dancing around,each an important role in the mini-concert that was going on,not props like he was in the New Directions.

_It's time to begin, isn't it?_  
_I get a little bit bigger, but then I'll admit_  
_I'm just the same as I was_  
_Now don't you understand_  
_That I'm never changing who I am_

_So this is where you fell_  
_And I am left to sell_  
_The path to heaven runs through miles of clouded hell_  
_Right to the top_  
_Don't look back_  
_Turning to rags and giving the commodities a rain check_

_I don't ever want to let you down_  
_I don't ever want to leave this town_  
_'Cause after all_  
_This city never sleeps at night_

_It's time to begin, isn't it?_  
_I get a little bit bigger, but then I'll admit_  
_I'm just the same as I was_  
_Now don't you understand_  
_That I'm never changing who I am_

Blaine had an amazing voice,and there was so much emotion behind it that you could tell there was a story behind the meaning of the were all having so much fun! And for the first time in a while Kurt missed singing.

_It's time to begin, isn't it?_  
_I get a little bit bigger, but then I'll admit_  
_I'm just the same as I was_  
_Now don't you understand_  
_That I'm never changing who I am_

_This road never looked so lonely_  
_This house doesn't burn down slowly_  
_To ashes, to ashes_

_It's time to begin, isn't it?_  
_I get a little bit bigger, but then I'll admit_  
_I'm just the same as I was_  
_Now don't you understand_  
_That I'm never changing who I am_

_It's time to begin, isn't it?_  
_I get a little bit bigger, but then I'll admit_  
_I'm just the same as I was_  
_Now don't you understand_  
_That I'm never changing who I am_

And for the first time in a while,Kurt smiled.

_Until next time! Love you,Alexx R&R_


End file.
